Archive for March, 2010

A New Blog…

Posted in From My Brain on March 26, 2010 by TodaysAddiction

And the new blog isn’t about me.
I’m hoping to create something more forum based (kind of) with multiple authors and resource links.
Here it is…

I’ll still be checking in over here from time to time….
This is my place to bitch, I don’t think I can get away with that over there


Things to ponder…

Posted in From My Brain on March 25, 2010 by TodaysAddiction

When air molecules cause your eardrums to quiver,
no differently from a cymbal being hit with a stick,
you hear a voice that you recognize
speaking words you understand…


Posted in From My Brain on March 18, 2010 by TodaysAddiction

I’ve long been trying to figure out who exactly is in charge of time.
Frankly, I think they should be fired. 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week just isn’t enough time to do the things I want to do.
Not that I’m all *that* busy, but I think my slacker time is important too!
I’ve partnered with a Tattoo School and am actively kicking around an additional business venture idea… I’m trying to help the kids with childcare (#5 is working full time… Horray!) and I think someone is supposed to clean the house occasionally. I hear food comes from stuff you can actually buy at the store and *gasp*… cook, but there are all of these awesome restaurants by my house and I’m honestly trying to do my part to stimulate the economy 😉

So, I’ve been watching time. I’m trying to follow the chain of command to the top. Yet, its scattered at my feet like leaves on a fall day. There seems to be no upward chain. Other people can tell me the time. They also tell me when I’m late.
It looks like time is only something of the minions… the worker bees.
I’m starting to think it’s an illusion that we people simply manufacture. One more marketing ploy, the product is stress but the price seems cheap enough.
One of the reasons I think time is an illusion is because I can look back on an event long past… it can seem moments behind me and and yet years away all at the same time.
My pets seems unconcerned with time. At best they know light from dark and when they are hungry, and they’re pretty smart. Smarter than some people I know. My house plants are never in a hurry either.
I think they’re onto something.
What if *we* are collectively in charge of time? What if we humans made it up?
If we are in charge of it, I wonder if we could abolish it? Just for a minute…


Posted in From My Brain on March 10, 2010 by TodaysAddiction

Lots of death and dying stuff along the path lately… I hope the universe isn’t planning to move me out just yet. I feel like I’m just starting to get the hang of it here. Finally.

Today I got to spend part of the day with my favorite nurse, Melia.
When Melia was pregnant with her 4th child, she noticed a lump in her breast. Her doctor told her it was “pregnancy hormones” and not to worry. After the baby arrived, she pointed it out to her Doctor again, he assured her that it was a milk gland and it might not go away till she was done nursing. The baby grew, the lump persisted.
After being assured once again, she sought out another doctor. Melia has breast cancer of course, but likely because of the delay, it’s stage 4 that metastasized to her liver and brain.
Her first oncologist told her it was too late, to enjoy what was left of her life and to get her things in order.
Her second oncologist agreed to treat her, conservatively. He was afraid that she wouldn’t survive aggressive treatment. She laughed… told the doctor that she wouldn’t survive the cancer either and found a new doctor.
Oncologist #4 reluctantly agreed to the treatment she requested and thankfully Melia is still with us, a full year later.
She looked fantastic today… we chatted for a while and I told her that I often hold her up as an example of how one must be a self advocate in health care. There is so much information available at the tip of our fingers and I believe Doctors are fearful of cutting edge or high risk treatments out of fear in our litigious society.
We began talking about books we’ve recently read, about meditation in healing and the power of our minds and the importance of a positive attitude. For Melia, bad days are a reality from time to time, but giving up isn’t even in her vocabulary. She has come to believe that she may not be cancer free, ever. But she sees no reason that she cannot keep it at bay and co-habitate with it peacefully. Any who knows… she might be that 1 in 1000. Someone has to be.
So we ended up talking about death and perception today.
About how dying is the one thing we all know with absolute certainty will happen for each and every one of us. Almost every person you hear or read about in the news who passed on today, woke up this morning fully intending on falling asleep tonight in their own bed. Yet we go from day to day as though we have forever. Like if we ignore death, perhaps it won’t find us… at least not today.
Anyway, we talked about the importance of “today”. Melia values each day as a complete unit. She is acutely aware that tomorrow might not come. She said she feels a bit sorry for the rest of us who are cancer (or insert another terminal illness here) free. She sees people wasting every day planning for the next, never enjoying the moment they are in. “People miss out on so much that is right in front of them, they are putting their entire life off waiting for some imaginary time… that probably will never come”.
We also talked about the illusion of time… but that’s another post.
She refuses to waste her life, waiting.

She left me with food for thought today. I plan to enjoy the rest of my day… today. I’ll tackle tomorrow when/if it comes.