Someone told me today that one of our customers YouTubed her piercing… here we are:
Click on the video to start it, if you click on it again after it’s started, it will take you to YouTube… the comments on it are fantastic! I have the best customers ever… what a fantastic job to have!
You know, the internet is just magic!!!
Because of the internet, I was able to find and meet my brother, keep in contact family I hadn’t seen in years and was found by Uncles from my father’s family.
It seemed I’d slipped through some kind of cosmic crack, but thanks to our ability to research and connect, I’d gone from literally no extended family to a rather rock-solid clan.
For those who have been with me through my blogsphere, you’ve gotten to witness some rather amazing meetings and reunions 
It amazes me that I have either side of my family, and now I have both….
Today I found a blog comment (and then an e-mail) from my cousin (on my Father’s side) who ran across this blog while doing some family research!
We partied like rock stars at the pumpkin patch…
If you want to see proof, you can check out #1’s Flickr or my Flickr
I went with the kids to their ultrasound today…
It’s a boy, and he’s an in-utero thumb sucker!
(They’re so cute when they do that)
Alternate title: Irrational fear of things we can’t control
Alternate title: Subconscious mind vs rational thought
Alternate title: Normal parts of grieving (I think)
You get the drift.
This last week I’ve been dreaming. Of dead relatives.
Not the super cool visits from beyond, but the wisps of smoke that are hard to capture when you wake up, the bits and pieces that make no sense at all and leaves one feeling disconnected. So far I’ve had dreams of both my Mom and Dad as well as an uncle who recently passed. Not ’story dreams’, not nightmares, not anything at all, just the knowledge that they were in the lasts nights dreams, often with no real memory of the dream itself.
I’m also experiencing this irrational fear of death. I think my sleeping and wakeful minds are at war.
I am healthy, I’m not terribly old and have no reason to fear that anything is wrong or my time is limited in anyway, yet I’m feeling forlorn for the eventual day that I won’t be able to see my children, husb and grandkids… ever again. I fear what my last moment might be like. Will it hurt? What if I can’t breathe? Will there be panic?
One dream I do remember was me, in my Mom’s position and knowing that I was terminal. I did everything I could to prepare my family, I tried as best I could to follow her brave example. When the last moment came, I felt suffocated, like I couldn’t breathe (in my mind, the worst feeling possible). I awoke in a flat out panic. I often find myself wondering “what if I can’t let go when it’s time”?
I’m not in any way suicidal, but occasionally I will wonder about dying on purpose, so I can control the terms as opposed to being left to the whim of fate.
I just re-read that last sentence (and really thought about deleting it, but if I can’t be brutally honest here… there’s no point to this blog), and let me just say again… I’d never hurt myself, but my mind wanders to the “control” portion dying, or the loss of control over the circumstances when nature takes it’s course.
Weird shit to process…
Maybe writing it down here will give me some peace tonight when I sleep.
I think we have collected too much crap over the years and it’s time to clean out some of what we are not using.
I was doing a little cleaning and found this in the “junk drawer”.
We’ve never had a waterbed.
I recently got a new cell phone… I love gadgets.
I found these looking around on the Internet for “cheats and tricks” (because often there are cool things cell phones can do that are not in the instructions… like I read instructions, but still. AND all of the cool kids will sit with you at lunch if you can do neat tricks with your phone)
Anyway I found these things that can be done with *any* cell phone… I tried the car door thing and it works like a charm!
**The following may come in handy someday – and it’s reason enough to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and your spare remote is at home or with your spouse, call that person on their cell phone (the transmission has to be from cell phone to cell phone to work) and have them press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone. Hold your phone about a foot from your drivers door while the tone is sounding. Believe it or not, your car will unlock. I’d have never believed it if I hadn’t tried it myself. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you, and distance is no object (but let me clarify — if you’re in Tokyo and for some reason the other remote is in Toronto, then unfortunately you ARE screwed). But if you are hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other “remote” for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk). from your cell phone.
**The number emergency number, worldwide for a mobile phone is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly enough, you can even dial (112) if the keypad for your cell phone is locked. Try it out. I have, and I tell you — it works!
**Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for each 411 information call we make. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial:
(800) FREE 411
or
(800) 373-3411
If you dial these numbers you will not incur any charge at all. Program this number into your cell phone now. This is the kind of information people don’t mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends.
I know these have been bouncing around the Internet for a while now, but it’s handy info to program into your phone… and the key thing works, we tried it out of curiosity and it totally worked for us. It would have come in real handy the time husb set his keys on his seat at the car wash and the car auto-locked, while I was at work with the other remote. The tow guy that unlocked him charged him 50bucks.
I had a high school student do a class required job shadow in the shop yesterday…
They bring with them a prepared sheet of questions as part of their coursework, the sheet is the same every time we get a student.
One of the questions is regarding our drug and alcohol policies.
The gal was reading the question from her paper, but it came out like this:
“Do you have a work-free, drug place?”
huh… never thought about taking it that route.
Digression: A while after my Dad passed away I had this dream.
I have a close friend who has never met any of my family except the kids and husb. It sounds rather odd that this good friend of mine is also #5’s baby-daddy, but you should know there is a family relationship there as well as a friendship. This friend and I have spent hours talking about life philosophy and our beliefs are extremely similar.
I called the kids this morning to let them know about Mom and I was informed that my friend had a weird dream that same night. His plan was to razz me about having had a dream about my Mom last night… like a “yo-Momma” thing, until he learned that she had passed, then the dream took on new meaning.
Mom was there as were her grandkids (#4 & 5), I was there, my friend was there. I was introducing the friend to Mom. We were standing in a well manicured park and he remembers the details of the feel of the breeze, the smells of the grass, the colors, the warmth of the sun. When I introduced them, he held out his hand as though to shake hers, but she grasped his hand as though they were holding hands instead, and through out the introduction she held his hand. There were other family members there as well, a brother of her’s was there (my friend did not know at the time her brother had proceeded her in death) as well as a few other family members who were there to take Mom to the other side.
Curious, I asked him to describe Mom as he had never seen her photo. He described her very accurately. An inch taller than me, thin, tiny. That she had the personality of a favorite waitress at a hole in the wall diner. Not shy. Shorter dark hair, not straight nor curly… more of that full, permed look.
They chatted for a few minutes, he remembered beginning to feel a bit awkward that she was still holding on to his hand, and was trying to give me a “help” look, but I was looking at her, not him.
Another digression: My Mom has a sister that she is very close to. The two of them have been through thick and thin. My aunt has been almost a “mother” figure for Mom in terms of love and support and Mom looked up to her sister. A lot. This aunt’s name is Mary.
To compare death to something more tangible, like going to the airport and taking a flight, for example… if someone were going to walk Mom to the gate, it would be Mary.
Weird dreams happen, the timing of this one was very interesting to say the least… but the part that made the hairs stand up was that my friend had no way of knowing that I have an Aunt Mary nor her relationship with Mom.
Anyway, the introductions and chat was over and it was time for Mom to leave with those who had come to “help” her when “someone named Mary came” to take Mom to those who were waiting.
Like I said… weird dreams happen. But my friend described several details he had no way of knowing. The name of my aunt. The brother who was waiting to take her the rest of the way. What she looked like (which could be a coincidence because of family resemblance).
(I’m saving this as a draft… I’m going to sit on it for a while. I’m not sure about posting it, at least not right now. But I wanted to get it down on “paper” while the description is fresh in my mind.
Oct 2)
Mom passed away last night in her home, with those closest to her there.
She did this the way she wanted to, and how often do people get to do that, really.
I’ve had many mixed feelings regarding her over the years, as I’m sure many people do in regard to parents, but right now I’m feeling a lot of admiration for her.
Taking on this difficult ending, and handling it with bravery and yes, grace.
Safe travels Mom… until you reach your destination. You’ve learned many lessons in this life and have been blessed with much love. Soon you will be off to your next adventure, and I’m certain our paths will once again cross, whether it is here or there.
Now that the burdens of this life have been lifted, I know in my heart that you can clearly see just how much you were loved.
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